


in these moments, i give myself (my heart) to you

by EllaYuki



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (from chapter to chapter), Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, M/M, Orefuro AU, POV Alternating, Prompt based Chapters, Victuuri Week 2017, and uh, in chapter 4, the chapters don't have much tie between each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:24:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9617777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: their love story isn't built just on and around training and competitions and the ice beneath their feet, but also on the moments in between, some quiet, some desperate, some exuberant, and some totally random.#victuuriweek





	1. day 1: firsts, yuuri - confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in the aftermath of the cup of china, yuuri and victor talk in yuuri’s hotel room.

the atmosphere in yuuri’s hotel room isn’t tense or awkward like he thought it would be.

instead, it’s warm, comfortable, if a bit nervous.

victor followed him into his room, talking up a storm about the next day’s exhibition skate and the rehearsals before it and whether it’s too early for yuuri to add the quad flip instead of the triple yuuri had planned. and yuuri can’t help but smile through it all. he feels like, for once, victor is the one who is the more nervous of the two.

he sits on the bed and lifts the medal from where it sits against his chest. “the next one will be gold.” he says quietly, more to himself, than to victor.

victor sits next to him and smiles that heart-shaped smile and yuuri just can’t help it.

he kisses victor. 

slowly, gently, a bit nervously, a hand cupping victor’s cheek, the other still grasping his medal. it lacks the rush of their earlier one, their first one, but yuuri feels just as breathless. it feels like a proper first kiss.

when he pulls back, victor is blushing, eyes blinking open and looking at yuuri with a quiet kind of wonder. 

“i have a confession,” yuuri says in the quiet air between them. “i’ve been wanting to do that for months. or maybe years. i can’t remember.”

he leans his forehead against victor’s, closes his eyes. victor lets out a shuddering breath, still speechless.

“i first saw you when i was twelve and i thought you were an angel. i begged my parents to get me a poodle and i named him after you. i have a stack of posters under my bed that used to be all over my bedroom walls. i know all your routines by heart. i thought i’d died and gone to heaven when you showed up at the onsen, or that i was dreaming because i couldn’t really believe you were actually there. and these past few months have been like a dream come true.”

he doesn’t mean to, but the moment he starts speaking, it feels like the first breath of air after almost drowning. he pulls back, gently brushes victor’s bangs out of his face. victor’s face is redder than he’s ever seen it, his eyes look suspiciously shiny, but the smile on his face… oh, his smile is so soft and so full of love for him. 

“and i…” he chokes, again, he can’t help it, he’s said so many things and yet he still has trouble voicing his wants, even now. but he takes a deep breath, takes victor’s hand in his.

“i really, really want to kiss you again. and again. if that’s alright with you.” he finishes. and waits.

“oh, yuuri,” victor finally says, after a few moments in which he clearly tries to pull himself together. “how you keep surprising me.” he continues, and, “i also have a small confession to make. i’ve wanted to kiss you every day and for such a long time.”

yuuri flushes, and says, a shy smile on his face, “so what’s stopping you?”

and then victor kisses him, whispering “never stop surprising me.” and “never stop kissing me.” against yuuri’s lips.


	2. day 2: traveling, victor - competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they skate and they live and they love, and the skating season passes by

for all that it's weird and frustrating, being away from yuuri and training again, and despite his initial misgivings about continuing his competitive career, victor can't really help the excitement that builds with every passing day. 

 

he'll get to compete against yuuri. properly, this time, and there's just something about it that makes him giddy, for all that his bones have started screaming at him.

 

secretly, despite what he told yuuri at the grand prix final's kiss and cry, he couldn't care less about getting his records back. he's proud of yuuri (of yurio, too, he knew the boy would perfect the routine he gave him to the point where he would surpass victor). he's proud and he wants yuuri to keep going, keep skating, keep surpassing victor and everybody else.

 

but he has to admit that, what he does care about is that thrill that he hasn't felt in so long, the uncertainty of a win. 

 

he barely takes gold at the russian nationals in yekaterinburg, pulling in front of yuri by a single point, and even then he's lucky because yuri botches up a jump and falls. yuri bitches for a week about how it's fucking unfair that he managed to win after not training for months and with a hastily put together program, too. he vows to beat him at Europeans and victor honestly can't wait to see him try.

 

after yuuri moves to st. petersburg after his own nationals (where no one is surprised when he takes gold with a good fifteen points difference from minami's silver-taking score), and they start training (and living) together, the competitive spark grows more and more, a trickle of adrenaline heating his blood more each day.

 

yuri gags and hisses at them, mila can't stop teasing, and yakov is caught between being impressed and annoyed. and while coaching and training isn't as easy as he'd hoped it would be, victor manages. yuuri tries his damnedest to make it easier for him, and victor loves him so much more for it. it's difficult, it’s exhausting, but they make it possible, they make it work.

 

when asked about his chosen theme, 'on life and love', what it means and if it's in any way tied with his student's theme of 'love', victor is honest when he answers that, yes, it is, because yuuri has taught him so much, about living and about loving and being himself, and he wants to show the world how he has changed, how he has grown, how loved he feels and how happy he is. (yuuri can't stop smiling and blushing for a few days straight after, and honestly? victor's heart feels like it might just burst out of his chest at the sight.)

 

the european championships come first, at the end of january in bratislava, and victor shares the podium with yuri and with chris and it feels both new and nostalgic. yuuri can't be with him in the skaters' waiting area or at the kiss and cry, but as soon as the results are out, they run to each other and yuuri gives him a tight hug and a soft kiss. in that moment, with yuuri's arms around him, there's a swell of pride in victor's chest he realizes he hasn't felt when medaling in such a long time. 

 

four continents comes and goes, this year in taipei, with yuuri taking gold. he's grown more confident, and he breezes through his programmes. sure, he still has his moments when anxiety tries to drown him, but he pushes through and skates his heart out and victor falls in love more and more and more.

 

they have something of a routine by the time worlds rolls around. waking up together, and taking turns walking makkachin while the other makes breakfast, going to the rink for yuuri's training hours, yuuri going to ballet classes while victor trains for his own routines, going to the gym together and then spending another hour or so by themselves at the rink, either goofing around with their exhibition skate, or trying to perfect yuuri’s quad flip and lutz (because they both want him to master that one as well).

 

in the evenings, they walk makkachin together, for an hour or two, and victor shows every bit of the city to yuuri, his favorite places and historical places and everything in between. sometimes they eat out, if they still have the strength for it, victor has at least two diners, a café and a restaurant that he favors in close proximity to their apartment, and sometimes, on their lazier nights, they just have leftovers or take-out. and then, they may or may not go to bed at a decent hour… depending on mood.

 

worlds is grueling for both of them. they try to go sightseeing in boston, have a date and relax before the main event, but both feel the pressure, yuuri to perfrom  _at least_  as well as he's done throughout the season, and victor to try and take back his records and keep his long-held title. 

 

reporters keep asking them what it's like, how they feel about competing against each other, how do they think so-and-so result would affect their relationship, and honestly, victor thinks their being foolish if they really think that either of them winning over the other would cause any sort of tension between them, although he can’t keep himself from joking that there’s a little bit more riding on yuuri taking gold . 

 

he tells them this while yuuri sits beside him and tries to suppress a small smirk at what victor knows is his 'people are stupid and i have to politely make fun them without them realizing it' smile. 

 

neither of them manages to score higher than yuri in the short program, his agape almost as perfect as it was at the grand prix final (almost, because he doesn't score as high as he did then, though still higher than both of them), but, in the end, it’s yuuri who takes gold after the free program.

victor’s not disappointed to lose his standing as reigning champion, not when it’s to yuuri, not when seeing that gold medal around yuuri’s neck has his heart racing and his blood burning. not when his cheeks hurt from the smile he wouldn’t be able to suppress even if he wanted to (which he doesn’t).

 

and besides, silver isn’t _that_ bad… even though yuuri is mean and refuses to kiss victor’s medal, saying that he doesn’t feel like kissing it since it’s silver.


	3. day 3: dreams, yuuri - reassurance/doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yuuri’s anxiety rears its ugly face one night, almost giving him a panic attack, and victor tries to reassure him.

he jumps and he falls, he jumps and he falls, he jumps and he falls, over and over and over again.

 

no matter how many times he tries, no matter how hard or how careful, he falls and he falls and he falls again.

 

he can't land any of his quads, not the flip, not even the toe loop, and he's frustrated. he's never had this bad a day where jumps are concerned, and he really can't understand why and he can't... think of anything to get out of this slump.

 

it doesn't get better. it gets _worse_. it gets awfully worse.

 

the more he tries, the more he realizes it's not just quads. even triples are impossible, even  _doubles_ , he can't get in enough rotations , he always crashes into the ice...

 

he hasn't fallen this much, this hard, this often since he was a child, since he was first learning, and he feels like a newborn calf, his legs, his knees buckling, trembling, barely holding him up.

 

"the hell is wrong with you, piggy?" comes yuri's voice, booming and startling, and yuuri almost  falls again. he turns towards him and the boy is scowling the way he did that one evening in the bathroom in sochi.

 

"yuuri, you used to be so much better than this. or at least i thought you were. apparently, i was wrong. it'll be so easy to surpass you like this." yuuri hears and when he turns around, phichit is there, gold medal gleaming on his chest, and hamster in hand. he looks... excited at the idea.

 

"you were always such a shy child, but this is just disappointing. all that money, all that time, wasted..." and there are his parents and his sister and even minako. yuuko and her family is there, too, and they're just sadly shaking their heads.

 

yuuri turns away from them, tries to run away so he won't have to hear their hurtful words, but he slams right into victor's chest. victor who looks cold and terrifying, and yuuri feels his heart stop in his chest. victor has never looked at him like that, not even when they fought.

 

"so this is your limit, huh, yuuri?" he says. "i wasted so much time on you, tried so hard to make you better, sacrificing what might have been my last competitive season, and this is all you can manage? this is pitiful. disappointing, really. but then again, i don't know why i expected more from someone who came in dead last at the grand prix final..."

 

yuuri is frozen in place, his heart in his throat. tears fall down his face and he only notices them when he hears yuri's harsh "ha! and now he's crying again, how lame!"

 

"vic... tor..." he tries, trembling hand reaching for him. "victor, please, why... why are you..." but victor slaps his hand away in disgust and yuuri's heart crumbles.

 

"don't touch me." victor says. "i can't even look at you. i can't believe i almost married you. i can't believe..." he he cuts himself off, shuddering in disgust, and turns away without sparing yuuri even one more glance.

 

yuuri tries to follow him, stop him, saying "no, no, please, don't, no, don't go, no, please" over and over like a prayer, but it falls on deaf ears, and his hand falls short of even touching victor, and his skate slips awkwardly on the ice below and he falls and he falls and he falls and all he can see is victor's back and then nothing…

 

~

 

he wakes up, screaming and scrambling and scared, on the verge of a panic attack, and he can barely breathe.

 

he doesn't hear the confused call of his name from beside him on the bed because his heart is thundering in his ears and he can't seem to stop shaking.

 

warm arms carefully envelop him and yuuri startles. when he turns and sees victor, worried, sleepy and soft, calling yuuri's name, yuuri goes boneless and starts sobbing against his neck.

 

victor doesn't say anything, just runs his hands gently through yuuri's hair and down his back, and lets him cry his heart out.

 

it's an hour before yuuri calms down, and he's never felt such bone-deep exhaustion, not for something like dreaming and crying. he thinks he should feels embarrassed for breaking down like that in front of victor and over just a nightmare, but he doesn't. he just feels tired. he sighs.

 

"sorry about that." he says.

 

"nightmare?" victor asks, and the way he says it, yuuri can tell that it's his way of letting yuuri decide if he wants to tell him about it. yuuri does.

 

"i kept falling." he starts, slowly. "no matter what jump i tried, i couldn't rotate properly, and i couldn’t stick the landings at all. i couldn't even to a simple double toe loop."

 

victor hums, thoughtful and sympathetic, but keeps quiet, so yuuri continues.

 

 "i couldn't land anything and i felt so _frustrated_... and then yurio showed up, and phichit-kun and my family, and they all started saying how pathetic i was, how much of a disappointment... and then..."

 

he hesitates, feels silly because he knows that the real victor isn't anything like the one from his dream. still...

 

"yuuri?" victor asks quietly. yuuri swallows against the lump in his throat and breathes in deep.

 

"and then you appeared... and..." and he can't say it, can't voice those awful words, a reflection of his own anxiety and self-deprecation given life via dream-victor. the real victor, the flesh and blood one who loves him and would never say such crushing things, not to yuuri, _that_ victor hugs him tighter and places a soft kiss to yuuri's hair.

 

"i said something horrible in your dream, didn't i?" he asks. he doesn't wait for yuuri's answer, he  _knows_. "you know that whatever that dream me said, it's not true, right? what did he say, that you're not worthy? that you're a waste of time? ...that i don't love you?  _none_  of that is true."

 

he says that last sentence with such conviction, such love, that yuuri feels it in his very bones. when victor takes his chin in hand and raises his head, yuuri meets his eyes without much hesitation.

 

"yuuri, you are not a waste of time, not to me and not to your family and friends. you will never be a disappointment to us, no matter what you do, no matter how  many times you fall."

 

his tone brooks no argument and yuuri, fresh tears falling down his cheeks, doesn't say a word. he can't. victor isn't done, though.

 

"and yuuri, if there is one thing you can trust no matter what, it's the fact that we love you, that _i_ love you. i love you and i will always be there to help you up when you fall, no matter how hard or how often. you know that, right?"

 

his hand caresses yuuri's face and yuuri can't help leaning his cheek into that warmth. yes, he knows. if victor's words weren't enough, the look on his face, his body language, and really, every single thing he does every day, big or small, spells it out and hammers it home. even yuuri's life-long anxiety doesn't hold a candle against the force of nature that is victor's love for him. yes. yuuri knows. it's still nice to hear it though. it helps dispel the last dregs of his horrible nightmare.

 

"i know." he tells victor, a small, tired smile on his face. " i know. and i love you, too." and then, as an afterthought, "and thank you."

 

victor hums again, and presses a kiss to his mouth. then, with a fond smile on his face, he says "you're welcome." and pulls yuuri's face back against his neck.

 

yuuri finally relaxes and falls back asleep, and dreams of a beach and seagulls and laughter and sunshine.


	4. day four: free for all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> orenchi no furou jijou au, in which victor is a merman living in yuuri’s parents’ onsen and yuuri is kind of in denial... until the morning he wakes up to find victor gone.

even after eight months, yuuri still has moments when he can’t wrap his head around the fact that there is a real, actual merman in his parents’ onsen.

he found victor one day on the beach close to the inn, stranded and unconscious, and despite his disbelief, despite the utter weirdness  of it all, he took the man… the _merman_ , home.

victor is… nothing like yuuri has ever imagined a mermaid… a mer _man_ to be. in the rare times he’s thought about it, he always thought they were graceful beings, regal even. but victor is… he’s eccentric, and he’s selfish and he’s clingy. he demands every bit of yuuri’s attention and gets pouty when he doesn’t get his way.

yuuri’s family takes to him pretty easily. his mother, hiroko, is enamored, treats him like family from the day yuuri carries him home, and his father takes his cue from her. mari raises her eyebrow in disbelief when she first sees him, but quickly accepts the new addition, the new, seemingly permanent occupant of the family’s private onsen.

it’s weird at first, and it’s tiring and yuuri has the occasional day when he wonders when victor will ask to be taken back to the sea.

that doesn’t happen, though, and after eight months, yuuri has not only gotten used to their peculiar tenant, but he’s also become fond of him and his quirky personality. mari calls it him being smitten, but yuuri pointedly (and frantically) denies any such thing.

well, he denies it until he can’t anymore.

one morning, yuuri wakes up late and when he doesn’t find victor in his usual place, doesn’t hear him whining after him, he does what he does best: he assumes the worst and panics. and instead of asking his family about it, he just bolts it out of the inn, running towards the beach at break-neck speed.

obviously, he doesn’t find victor there, and the only answer he gets to his frantic calls towards the sea, are the rolling of the waves and the squawking of the seagulls. still, he calls out, pleading, begging victor to come back. dusk finds him curled into a ball, throat raw, and emotionally exhausted.

when he finally gets back to the inn, his mother is worried but relieved to see he has returned safe and sound.

“really, yuuri,” she says, her tone gentle, if a bit scolding. “you really had us all worried, leaving the way you did. why were you in such a rush? and poor vicchan has been asking all day if you’ve returned. please, don’t do that again?”

yuuri feels ashamed and foolish and so sad. he’s upset his family and he even worried victor with his behav… _wait._

“…what?” he asks his mother, almost afraid. “victor? he’s… he’s still here? he’s…” and the tears start falling again, choking him.

hiroko places a hand on her cheek and looks at her son questioningly.

“of course he’s here? where else would he be, yuuri?”

“but.” he starts. “but he wasn’t in the onsen this morning, he wasn’t…” _there, he wasn’t there_ , and yuuri feels that same wave of bitter sadness try to drown him again.

“oh! yes, vicchan wanted help with something and we thought it would be a better idea to move him inside the house while we dealt with it. we were in the family room.”

yuuri looks at her like he can’t really see her. he swallows the lump in his throat.

“…he’s been in the family room all day?” he asks, and his voice cracks.

“well, not all day, just for an hour or so. he’s been back in the onsen since noon. yuuri, really, what happened?” her voice is soft, still worried, and yuuri can’t help it. he clings to her and sobs a bit into her shoulder.

he can’t tell whether or not it’s all just relief. he doesn’t care. victor is still here, and yuuri wants…

he wants to see him, he wants to hold him, to never let him go again, even if it’s selfish…

and really, there’s no point in denying it anymore.

  
~

  
he leaves his mother with a quick kiss on the cheek, something he hasn’t done since he was a child, and he runs to the onsen, not caring about the commotion he causes.

he bursts outside, ready to scold victor for worrying him and to apologies for worrying victor, and then he stops dead in his tracks. 

it takes him a minute to fully understand what he’s seeing.

victor’s hair, once long past his waist and gleaming like liquid silver, is now short, obviously freshly cut, and so… _surreal_ to yuuri. he has to pinch himself to make sure he’s not dreaming.

victor, for his part, looks thoroughly unimpressed and ready to tear yuuri a new one. he takes the little towel off of his (short haired!) head, and swims to the edge closest to yuuri.

“where the hell were you??” he asks, tone more upset than yuuri’s ever heard coming from him. “do you know how much you’ve worried your mother? how worried you made me? where did you go without telling anyone? and why did you come back so late? please explain yourself!”

he’s obviously trying for furious, but yuuri can tell he’s on the verge of crying himself. so yuuri does the only thing he can do. he kneels down in front of victor and hugs him tight.

“i’m sorry.” he whispers into victor’s ear. “you weren’t here this morning and i thought…” he pauses, feeling hesitant and foolish. “you weren’t here and i thought you left. i thought you left. without saying a word to me, i thought you left. so i went to the beach where i found you.”

“yuuri…” victor says softly, and finally returns yuuri’s hug. “were you… looking for me at the beach all day?” he asks, and his tone sounds a little awed and yuuro doesn’t understand why. why would this wonderful creature wonder at yuuri childishly yelling out his name to the breeze.

“yeah. i… thought, maybe if i called out to you, maybe if i waited, maybe you’d come back.” he tells victor, says it like a dirty secret. “maybe you’d come back to me." 

victor’s breath hitches and when yuuri feels him gently grab yuuri’s shoulders and trying to break the embrace, he unwillingly lets him. only victor doesn’t pull back too far, just enough to be able to look yuuri properly in the eyes. for a second.

and then yuuri’s flat on his back, and there’s a heavy weight on top of him and there are lips on his.

when victor pulls back, heart-shaped smile huge on his face, yuuri can’t help the small laugh that escapes his sore throat.

"what was that for?” he asks with a giggle.

“because you always keep surprising me. and for once, i wanted to surprise you, yuuri.” comes the delighted answer. “and because i wanted to.”

“is that so?” is all yuuri has the time to say before he’s being kissed again, deeper, less urgent.

  
~

  
a while later, after some more kissing and after they have dinner and yuuri showers, the two of them relax in the warm water that has become victor’s home. and yuuri remembers something that has been bothering him since he burst into the outside onsen.

“victor? why did you cut your hair?” he asks as he runs careful fingers through the short tresses that cover the side of victor’s face.

victor hums quietly, nuzzling his face into yuuri’s skin, not moving from where he’s draped all over his chest. 

“hmm… i felt like it.” he answers. “there’s not much of a reason behind it. i just felt it was time for a change.” he runs a lazy finger down yuuri’s pectoral, back up and up his neck. yuuri shudders at the sensation but doesn’t stop him, doesn’t want to.

“besides,” he continues, tone shifting to teasing. “you were complaining about my hair clogging drains so i though it would be a case of… how do you humans put it? two birds, one stone?”

“well, your hair was a bit of a pain to take care of.” yuuri returns, ready to return the tease. “as beautiful as it was, like this,” he says, tugging on a few short strands, “it’s easier to handle.”

victor pouts, and uses his tail to splash some water at yuuri. which, somehow, turns into an all out water fight that has them breathlessly laughing and felling content by the end.

“hey, victor?” yuuri starts, once they’ve both calmed down. vitor looks at him, curious. “when you do decide you want to go back… please tell me before you do?”

victor looks at him like he doesn’t know if he wants to laugh at him and scold him. what he does, is take yuuri’s hand and kiss his fingers.

“ _if_ such a day comes, i promise i will.” he says, indulging yuuri. “but if i had my way? i’d never leave your side.”

“…that sounds almost like a proposal…” yuuri can’t help but say, blushing and happy.

victor’s smile is quiet and full of love and, well, yuuri can’t do anything but hug him again, kiss him and enjoy the moment.

 


	5. day five: domesticity, victor: anniversaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> above all else (except for one), victor loves celebrating the anniversary of the banquet the most, because reasons.

victor likes to celebrate the anniversary of the banquet.

even after years, even when they’ve both finally, officially retired, days of glory on ice behind them, and other occasions to celebrate happened, victor still makes it a point of celebrating that one night.

it’s the night everything changes, the night he stopped being just victor the skater and started being victor the person, the man, too, for the first time in so many years. it’s the night yuuri drunkenly stole his breath and his heart and there’s no way he’ll ever stop thinking of that date as special.

sure, there are others as well, of course there are. the day they first kissed, in an euphoria-induced moment of impulse, the day they exchanged rings in front of a church in Barcelona (which, technically, is only a few days before the banquet anniversary), choir singing, bells ringing, hearts pounding.

the day yuuri won his first grand prix final gold, and his first world gold and his first Olympic gold and the first time they slept together and the day they started living together, just the two of them (well, and makkachin). the day they got makkachin a new, small friend.

yuuri thinks he’s being silly, says they can’t celebrate all these things every year, that maybe they should just keep it to a couple of them, maybe, like normal people. but victor won’t have it.

he tells yuuri in no uncertain terms that, for him, this is a first (and hopefully an only) and he wants to celebrate everything yuuri-related in his life because yuuri brings him more joy than anything ever has. yuuri gets bashful at that, a soft flush staining his cheeks, but he can’t quite suppress the pride gleaming in his eyes.

the only one yuuri doesn’t complain about in embarrassment is their wedding anniversary. and victor always makes sure to go a little overboard with that one (well, a bit more overboard than usual, which… is a hell of a lot.)

but yes, the banquet is special and victor will celebrate it each year without fail and he will fight anyone who says that it’s too weird or too corny or too sappy. it’s not. it’s his third favorite day of the year (after his wedding day and yuuri’s birthday) and he will treat it accordingly come hell or high water.

yuuri has long given up trying to convince him to please forget about it.


	6. day six: bonds, yuuri: proposals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one day, after yuuri has moved to st. petersburn, he and victor have a conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: dialogue only

“hey, yuuri?”

“what?”

“let’s get married.”

“…right now?”

“that would be ideal, but no, not right now. but… sometime soon maybe?”

“okay. do you want to do it here?”

“no…”

“no? but…”

“i want to do it in hasetsu. i know it’s cheesy, but i want to do it there, with your family, and minako and the nishigoris and a  few friends. and i want to do it…”

“i will call you cheesy if you say you want to get married at ice castle.”

“…no. not there. at the beach, where there are seagulls.”

“…oh. that… sounds nice.”

“right? and makkachin can be the ring bearer!”

“ yes, yes. ring bearer makkachin, that’s cute.”

“…”

“did you have a date in mind, too?”

“i was… thinking in may, it’s off season, and it’s not too cold, and…”

“and…? victor?”

“you’re going to laugh at me.”

“no, i won’t.”

“yes, you will…”

“victor…”

“…it’s an anniversary…”

“anniversary? of what? …did something happen in may that i don’t remember? because we first met and we got engaged in December, and you came to japan in april, and i… can’t think of anything in particular happening in may that would be so important…?

“…”

“come again?”

“i said, it was in may that you told me you wanted me to be myself, and it was basically when we started. though it took us a while to understand what that meant and actually so something about it.”

“…victor…”

“see, you’re laughing. yuuri is so mean to me.”

“i’m not laughing at you, i promise. i just, can’t believe you even remember that. it was such an ordinary day…”

“…it wasn’t for me. it was the first glimpse i was seeing of the yuuri that swept me off my feet. and… it was the the first time in such a long time that anyone told me to just be myself. so. for me, it’s a special day.”

“…okay.”

“okay? really?”

“yes. i think the beginning of may is a lovely time to have a wedding.”

“yuuri!”

“stop it! i can’t breathe!”

“but i’m so happy!”

“i understand that but if you hug me to death, how will you marry me?”

“…you’re right.”

“see?”

“yuuri, we’re getting married!”

“yes, yes, we are.”


	7. day seven: endings, victor: promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the grand prix final is over, yuri and victor have both come to their decisions about the future, and now victor has one more thing to ask of yuuri.

“please promise me you’ll never do that to me again.”

yuuri turns around from where he’s changing out of his costume and into casual clothes, and looks at him.

“do what?” he asks. his tone is curious and genuine and victor couldn’t be mad at him even if he wanted to. and in spite of everything, he does still _kind of_ want to. his heart _was_ broken after all.

“decide things by yourself and expect me to say ‘yes, of course’ and have that be that.” he says. his tone is mild but he thinks yuuri can hear everything  underneath it, his fear, his sadness, his lingering anger. he looks yuuri in the eye and prays his beloved would understand.

yuuri looks ashamed and sheepish, and he can’t hold victor’s gaze.

“ah… yeah…” he starts, ears red and hand scratching nervously at the back of his neck. “i’m sorry about that. I didn’t…” he trails off, and victor can see he’s not sure how, or whether to finish that sentence.

“you didn’t… _what_ , yuuri? didn’t trust me? didn’t trust what we have?” he knows he sounds a bit harsh, but he really needs a proper answer. this one time, he needs to hear what exactly went on in yuuri’s head for him to want to end what they have.

“i…” yuuri starts, stops, swallows and tries again. “i… never really used to think I was good enough. sure, I’ve always wanted to win, I’ve always been competitive, and I’ve always wanted to be on the same level as you. but when you’re like me, when you have anxiety, things tend to seem… pointless, useless… no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to get what you want, and if, by some miracle, you  _do_ , then you don’t deserve it. no matter how hard you’ve worked to earn it _, you don’t deserve it.”_

victor listens quietly, and his heart hurts. hearing yuuri talk like that about himself hurts victor, because he knows that he can’t do anything to make yuuri’s anxiety go away. and yuuri isn’t even finished yet.

“i guess… i never really thought this was long-term. not until china… “ he stops, takes a breath. ”in china, i remember thinking that i wanted to show the world you’re mine, that i deserved your time no matter what anyone said. i wanted to be hated for taking you away from the world. i wanted to keep you by my side for as long as possible.” another pause, and victor is speechless. “i thought that in Russia, too. and then…” he shrugs a shoulder, still not looking at victor.

“and then, i don’t know, i messed up, i couldn’t focus, and by the time it was all over, i realized that i was being selfish. it hit me again that your place is on the ice, enchanting the crowds, not… not wasting what precious little time you have left for skating taking care of someone who couldn’t even keep his promise…”

“promise?” victor has to interrupt. yuuri hadn’t broken any promises to him, so what…?

“when i sent you back to japan, i promised i’d be fine myself… and what happened?” tears are rolling down yuuri’s cheeks now, and victor doesn’t know what to do. he ends up taking yuuri’s hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. he still can’t hadle people crying in front of him, even more so when it’s yuuri.

“i broke down and barely managed to get qualified for the final is what i happened! that’s when i decided that, gold medal or no gold medal, i’d send you back to Russia and to competing again.”

“yuuri…” victor’s heart aches for yuuri, for this beautiful man who thinks he’s being selfish for a wish as simple as wanting to have victor by his side.

“all of that’s behind us, now” he says, caressing yuuri’s cheek, raising his face to meet victor’s gaze.

“but-“ yuuri tries, but victor won’t have it, not now.

“but,  _nothing_. we are here, you’ve just won a silver medal you should be proud of, and we’ll both be competing from now on. in a way, we both got what we wanted, so let’s put all of that behind us, okay?” his tone is no-nonsense, because yuuri needs to understand this and to get it through his anxiety-ridden thick skull.

of course, yuuri still has to comment, because he’s _yuuri_.

“we _both_ did?” he asks, like he’s trying to make sure.

“well, yes.” victor answers, like it’s the more obvious thing in the world. because  _it is_. “i get to continue coaching you and watching and helping you grow. you get to see me skate again, and you get to skate against me again. and we get to stay together. i call that a win-win.”

“…okay. yes, you’re right.” yuuri says, timid, but victor can see the happiness shining through the remaining tears.

“so. promise me?” victor continues, smiling as he pull yuuri into a hug. yuuri makes a soft, questioning sound where his face is pressed against victor’s collarbone. “promise me you won’t just decide things by yourself from now on? when it comes to us?”

yuuri is unresponsive for a moment. then he nuzzles closer in victor’s embrace.

“i promise.” he says. “i promise. from now on, we’ll work harder at communication. i won’t selfishly decide things on my own anymore.”

and then, in a teasing tone, “well, unless i don’t agree with my coach’s decisions. then i might have to.”

victor can’t help laughing. yuuri really is something, and he loves him _so much._

~

“hey, victor?”

“what is it?”

“…i think we should move to st. petersburg after nationals.”

“…you never fail to surprise me, yuuri.”

“so is that a yes? i mean, it makes sense.”

“yes, yuuri. i promise that’s a whole-hearted yes.”

 


	8. day eight: valentine’s day, life & love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s victor and yuuri’s first valentine’s day, and for once in his life, victor doesn’t go completely over the top.

homemade chocolate is not as easy to make as victor had thought it would be.

he screws it up more than he expected he would, and it takes him forever to get it just right, but the end results, three half-palm sized pieces, one heart-shaped, one shaped like makkachin's head and one that vaguely looks like an ice skate, look satisfying and, going by the leftovers, are also pretty tasty.

yuuri has forbidden him from going overboard for valentine's, asking victor to _please_ cancel the reservation to the most expensive restaurant in st. petersburg, which victor doesn't even know how yuuri found out about, it was meant to be a surprise, and well... who is victor to deny his beloved?

he'd also wanted to buy yuuri something expensive, maybe a watch or a new pair of high-quality skates, but he knows yuuri would object to victor spending so much on him. and yuuri had also caught him trying to order a shop-full of red roses, and shut _that_ down immediately, saying that, while he appreciated the gesture, it was kind of a hassle to deal with so many flowers when they eventually began to wilt, and also, makkachin would probably eat half of them and get sick again. victor had to agree with him there.

he asked his friends for ideas but that didn't help all that much either. mila suggested a night on the town, drinking and dancing and then some 'fun' when they got back home. georgi suggested serenading him and victor actually considered that for a few minutes... until he remembered that he's shit at singing, and he'd only embarrass himself in front of yuuri.

chris was even less helpful, because he suggested he wrap himself in a bow and give _himself_ as a present and that's just... _no_. or rather, it's not that he would be opposed to actually doing it, it's just that yuuri would probably die on the spot. or chide him for being silly and over the top. or both. either way, it wouldn't end well.

no. he wanted something that yuuri would like. something simple that even yuuri can't refuse.

yuri was the one to tells him to maybe ask someone who knows more about, not only how the japanese go about celebrating valentine's day, but also what yuuri might or might not like. in other words, he should ask yuuko about it.

so victor did.

he decided to call on a day when yuuri had longer ballet lessons, to make sure he wouldn't be interrupted mid-call, and remembered to check that it wouldn't be an inconvenient hour in japan before actually calling.

he was lucky. yuuko was, as always, kind and patient, and answered most of victor's questions, about japan's valentine's and about yuuri, to the best of her abilities and she didn't make all that much fun of him (she did tease him a bit, but all good-natured).

by the end of that conversation, victor knew the difference between honmei and giri chocolate, about white day and return gifts, and yuuri's preferred type of chocolate, and had a recipe on how to make it. he made a note to send her a gift as thank you.

it’s... a bit of a disaster at first. it's hard to keep secrets from yuuri, even more so when they live together, when they spend most of their day together. and then there's the actual chocolate-making itself. he knows what he wants to do but his artistry doesn't extend to the kitchen. still, he tries and tries and tries, until he gets three that actually look the way he wants them to.

well, more or less. the heart is a bit wonky, makkachin looks kind of silly, and the skate... barely looks like one, but victor’s running out of time and ingredients and patience with himself and with everything, so he decides that it's as good as it's going to get and anyway, yuuri will like it. surely. ...hopefully he won't laugh too hard.

yes, it takes forever and a day, and it's hard, but victor is satisfied. it's not the most aesthetic gift he's ever given, but it's the one he's poured his heart into the most, and also, it's the thought that counts.

still, he can't help himself, and still buys yuuri a small bouquet of blue roses, to go with the chocolate.

 

~

 

valentine's day passes like any other day, for the most part. morning walks with makkachin (which is normal) and breakfast in bed for yuuri (which is rare, because they usually wake up around the same time and take turns cooking and walking the dog), morning training, ballet classes and gym and more training, because four continents is in a few days and they want to get in as much of it as they can before they have to fly out for the competition.

yuuri keeps throwing him searching looks throughout the day, clearly curious, because he knows victor has _something_ planned, and victor only gives him his brightest smiles before he orders him to re-do his combination spins or to watch his sloppy free leg.

by the end of the day, yuuri is fidgety, clearly nervous, and victor doesn't know if he wants to end his misery, or tease him a bit more. both options sound good to him.

when they get home, makkachin greets them happily, all energy, and they dote on him for a few minutes, before they go shower and changed for the evening.

their evening walk is pleasant, conversation easy, and neither feel the need to comment on the holiday itself. they do make it point to take a couple of nice selfies together, one silly that gets sent with birthday wishes to chris, and one that's softer, sweeter, yuuri's seat on victor's shoulder, bodies turned towards each other, and victor's cheek in yuuri's hair. both look happy and in love, but not obnoxiously so, and yuuri even lets victor upload it to instagram without complaint.

by the time they get back home, both are feeling tired but content.

they change into more comfortable clothes for dinner, which yuuri had decided to make by himself, a combination of both russian and japanese foods, and after they finish, sated and full, and they've cleaned up and fed makkachin for the night, they move to the living room couch. it's still a bit early, so a little cuddle time before bed is just the thing they need.

victor lets yuuri settle in first, making an excuse about needing to so to the bathroom and steals away to the bedroom, to his hidden nook in the balcony, where he'd stashed the chocolate and the flowers. he does go to the bathroom, because it was only half an excuse, he actually needs to go, but he also wants to wipe off the excess water from the bouquet.

after he's done, he goes back to the living area, where yuuri's sitting on the couch, back to the hallway door. victor moves quietly, he wants to surprise yuuri, after all.

when he gets close enough, he can see yuuri's petting makkachin, who is sprawled over half the couch, snoozing contentedly, and the warmth spreading through his chest is almost unbearable. he still can't get used to how much yuuri loves makkachin, even after so long.

he approaches the couch, bends over it and places a soft kiss to yuuri's neck, where it's exposed as yuuri's head is tilted to the side. yuuri, for his part, only jumps a little because he hadn't expected it and because he's a little bit ticklish, but then he hums a little in delight and leans his head back against victor's shoulder. victor kisses that spot again, and wraps his arms around yuuri's shoulders, bringing his gifts into view.

“happy valentine's day, yuuri.” he says, and yuuri's soft, almost disbelieving 'oh' is music to victor's ears. trembling hands reach for the bouquet, takes it from victor's grasp. yuuri brings the flowers to his face, inhales the sweet scent, and an almost blissful smile spreads on his face.

"thank you." he says, a small blush on his cheeks. victor can't help it, he kisses the one in his immediate reach. "it's not just the flowers, yuuri." he tells him, a bit teasingly.

yuuri seems a bit startled at that, like he's been so distracted at receiving a bundle of victor's signature flowers, that he hadn't even noticed the other half of the present. he turns his attention to the package, the three chocolates each wrapped in simple, yet elegant wrapping paper so that they don't stick to each other, and placed into a transparent plastic gift bag, tied off nicely with red ribbon. victor thinks he's done quite well, considering he hasn't wrapped a gift by himself in years.

yuuri looks at the gift with wide eyes, mouth fallen open, then he moves his gaze to victor.

"...victor?” he says, voice a bit tremulous.

“open it.” victor urges him. if this is how yuuri reacts just to the package, he can't wait to see his face when he sees the actual contents.

yuuri sets the flowers gently in his lap, and takes the bag. he opens it with shaking fingers, but victor can see the mounting excitement. he unwraps all three chocolates in complete silence and victor's a bit nervous.

he doesn't have to be. yuuri lays out the heart, the puppy and the skate in his lap next to the flowers carefully, almost reverently, and looks at them in awe. when he looks up at victor, there are tears shining in his eyes, but his smile is blinding. then he leans up and kisses victor, passionate and a bit giddy, and victor feels breathless with both relief and happiness.

they sit there for a couple of minutes, foreheads touching, eyes closed, breaths mingling. the world has stopped, vanished, and victor couldn't care less if it never came back. he'd be content to spend the rest of his life right here, sitting like this with yuuri (and makkachin, of course).

after a short while, yuuri pulls back and, to victor's surprise (always with the surprises, him and yuuri), he pulls out his phone and takes a photo of the roses and the chocolates. to victor's even bigger surprise, he does what he so very rarely does, and uploads the photo to instagram, with the caption, _'…he'll never fail to surprise me ❤ @v-nikiforov #myvalentinesisbetterthanyours'._ victor almost dies on the spot when he sees it on his feed (yuuri hadn't let him see as he typed).

then, yuuri gathers his precious cargo, places it on the table out of makkachin's immediate reach, and excuses himself for a minute. victor wonders if yuuri needs a moment to compose himself or if he also has a gift for victor. he doesn't ask, though, lets yuuri have his privacy.

a minute later, yuuri comes back into the living room, blush still fixed on his face, holding what looks like a wrapped box in his hands. he walks up to victor and presses it into his hands. victor looks at him, surprised, and then down at the box. slowly, he unties the ribbon, not missing the fact that it's the same color as his eyes, then carefully rips the paper. the box inside is simple, unadorned, and victor wastes no time in opening it.

inside is a soft, dark wine-red scarf. it's not too thick or too thin, and it's simple. but it's beautiful in it's simplicity, almost elegant, and victor is already in love with it. yuuri takes it from victor's grasp and wraps it gently around his neck, unable to look victor in the eye for some reason. victor can’t tell if it’s anxiety or embarrassment, but hopes it’s the latter.

“happy valentine's day.” he says shyly, finally lifting his eyes to meet victor’s, and then, “sorry it's not something fancier or handmade.” victor shakes his head.

“no,” he says, “yuuri, i love it, i do, it's wonderful. it’s beautiful.” he pulls yuuri close to him. “thank you.” he whispers before pulling yuuri into another kiss.

yuuri melts into him, kissing back and making happy sounds, and victor thinks, _‘this is it. this is how i want to spend the rest of my life.’_

 

~

 

“these are delicious!”

“so you like them?”

“of course! and they're so cute, too!”

“i'm glad.”

“wait. victor, did you make these _by yourself?”_

“...yes?”

“you... made me chocolates for valentine's?”

“well, yuuko said that's a good idea, said in japan you give the boy you like hon... mei? honmei chocolate, so...”

“...you asked yuu-chan about this?”

“...yes?”

“so you made these... without me knowing... and without burning the house down?”

“you don't have to sound so incredulous.”

“sorry, sorry.”

“and now you're laughing at me.”

“i promise i'm not. it's just...”

“just?”

“i never really thought you'd be this sappy.”

“yuuuuri~”

“or this much of a dork.”

“now you're being mean to me again.”

“no. i just love you, so i like teasing you a bit.”

“...yuuri. i love you, too.”

“i know.”


End file.
